What to do? I'm not writing just to bemoan or observe, but to strategize.
I've been thinking of taking my own photos for the collages for awhile. My cell phone camera is too limited for anything more serious than Flickr. I have a good, though bulky, studio camera. And my sculpture? There's no motivation to make it in the studio space I have without a site to install it. The videos on my Web site are the form it's taking. I want to keep that going.
I need to commit to (1) carrying the camera anyway; (2) finding the discipline and reserves to work one or two nights during the week; and (3) calming the hell down about being 52 and still struggling with identity and fearing the struggle won't be productive and I'll be writing the same blog five years from now.